From the False to the True Self:

Through each day of each life flows the fascinating river that is called consciousness. Sometimes that stream is smooth, clear, calm; at other times it is churned up, muddy, rough. It is here that the Mood War is found, that inner battle which has a hidden influence on everyone's freedom.

To become aware of your flux of moods is an essential step towards new freedom. You learn to recognize a continual struggle in you between a true and a false self. In spiritual language it can be called the pendulum between consolation and desolation. Or the old story of the divided heart.

Desolation may sometimes be inevitable, and even fruitful as a passing phenomenon. But it is not meant to be long-lasting. Consolation is our natural state if we are trying to live generously and openly. Sometimes it can express itself in intense feelings of aliveness but not always.

Both desolation and consolation are more like rivers than like lakes: by their direction you will recognize them. Is the flow of my life today closing me down into worries, distance, tensions, as if in a cloud of uncaring? That is a hallmark of desolation - to be resisted. Or is it an outgoing flow - towards wonder, giving, gratitude, and God? That is the river of consolation - to be protected and lived.

Adapted from Free to Believe: ten steps to faith (Darton, Longman and Todd, London, revised edition, 1996). From "Step One: the first freedom".